I have never been so ashamed of my religious affiliation in my life.
I just stormed back from church service today. I had always thought the pastor of my mother's church was very open and accepting, especially for a preacher of such a conservative denomination (Reformed Church of America, for those playing along at home). Today I discovered that this was not so.
I've been keeping up with some folks on Xanga, whom I know from some old roleplaying haunts, and reading their thoughts on the dominance of Christianity in the English-speaking world. In fact, I have several false starts of an entry that are sitting on my hard drive, based on my views meshed into what I've read there. Today changed my mind a bit.
The pastor got up there and started just lambasting. Wow. I can't recall ever hearing him be so fire and brimstone, and I've been to many sermons in this church -- I grew up in this church, and still attend quite often. Even though I call it my mother's church, it's as close to "my church" as I have right now. Anyway, he started in on how Christianity is being pushed out of the mainstream. He said that this modern age is like New Testament times, when the Apostle Paul was walking the (known) world.
Then, just to ice the cake, he starts quoting statistics. I meant to ask him for the source after the service, but I was too pissed off and my hands were too sore from being clenched into each other. (I know he saw me get angry, too; I was only sitting in the second row. This morning, for some reason, I wanted to sit in the back, but mom wanted her kids with her in up front and I acquiesced. Memo to Ree: trust your friggin' instincts next time!) He stated that only 4% of Americans are Christians. Oho, I beg to differ! It's more like seventy-odd percent. Next week, I suppose he'll start babbling nonsense about how the evergreen is a symbol of Christ living forver (it was stolen from pagan fertility rites), Christmas being at the end of the year for any reason other than to adapt solstice ceremonies into spreading Christianity, or maybe he'll find a Christian meaning in mistletoe! (Snerk. I'd pay to hear that one!)
How the hell is Christianity "fading out" in America?! We are "one nation, under God". Every cent of American cash is printed with the words "in God we trust". (All others must fork over the cash entrusted to Him, apparently.) Name me one U.S. president who claimed a religious affilation other than mainstream Christianity. Heck, JFK was an anomaly because he was Catholic instead of Protestant! Can you name any non-Christian congressmen? I can't even name any women -- there are a few, sure, but they're not on the presidential track. How is Christianity NOT the main religious drive in our country?
Oh, but I left the best part for last. Remember the judge and the 10 Commandments monument? This pastor tried to use that monument's removal as an example of how Christianity is no longer guiding this country. Do I really need to say "separation of Church and State"? *swears* I mean, honestly! If people want to live in a theocracy, they need to get the hell out of America, because we are NOT what they want in government. We are a very conservative country with a definate Christian bias, however.
I'm so pissed off, even now. Church has been over for half an hour and I'm still steaming. Obviously the "Christians" who claim that they're being persecuted have never tried living in a country whose dominant religion was not Christianity. Go try to be faithful in Egypt, you freaking hacks! If you survive being white, American, and Christian, you can come back and voice any remaining complaints you have with America's endorsement of your faith.
It must be so hard to be pagan in America. It's not an Abrahamic tradition, so it gets walked all over. To live in a country where businesses close on Sunday, money and the Pledge of Allegiance bear witness to "God" -- I can't imagine it. I know I can't. To me, my world seems right, or it did -- everything was all nice and neat and Christian.
The truth is rarely, if ever, so neatly packaged.
The truth is that Christians need to quit bitching. Yeah, there was a time when being Christian could get you killed. It still can, in some parts of the world. But America is probably the most tolerant nation on the face of the freaking planet, where Christianity is concerned. If you're Christian and that isn't good enough for you, I suggest you go off and die. Go join God in Heaven and bitch to him, because I don't care. I am a Christian, but I am also an American. I believe that the two can go together, but not that they should. Of all religious groups in America, Protestants have it better than anyone else, yet they're the ones being vocal with the complaints.
I cannot put into words my desires right now, not all of them. For starters, I want to cancel my membership in that terrible closed-minded and whiny church. I want to wrap all my gifts this year in moon-and-stars paper and dole them out on the Solstice instead of the twenty-friggin'-fifth. I want to buy a pentagram pendant (I've always rather admired them from afar, but knew better than to get my Christian self one), wear it to Advent service, and greet everyone with "Merry meet!" when they say it's time to greet the people around us.
I am so deeply ashamed that I have ever thought that being a conservative Christian was something to be proud of. I really thought my congregation and pastor were accepting, tolerant, open, and loving. I've had to realize today that if they are at all, it is only by conservative Christian standards -- and that simply isn't good enough for me anymore. They don't get to say things to me and have me nod my head anymore. I just can't do it. I am too open-minded, too well-read, and above all, too mindful of "love one another" to let myself be considered one of their number anymore.
So I'm pretty alone right now, I guess, religiously speaking. I'm a Christian without a sect. I don't know what I'm going to do.