Update on my dad: They're doing some tests. Sounds like they have have to slide some device up his, er, penis to get to the kidney stone. Sounds painful as all fuck, but it's not surgery on the same scale as opening his abdominal cavity, so I guess that's good.
I was worried when he got transferred to a bigger hospital, but he said the urologist at the hometown hospital was on vacation for ten days. Hence the moving him to the hospital that has a urologist there. Good call, I think. His baby sister lives in the city of the bigger hospital, and in fact works either there or at the other hospital in that city, so she can visit him. That'll be good for him. I am reassured.
I guess morphine is standard for kidney stone patients? Giving it, I mean -- oh hell. You all understand what I mean, right? So screw grammar. I am understandably frazzled here. I just want to get my thoughts across. A friend of mine who lives in Australia had kidney stones and she was given morphine for the pain, which wigged me out then as now. I assumed at the time that morphine was perhaps less restricted in Australia, but maybe it's standard pain medication for patients suffering kidney stone.
From what I understand, "suffer" does not begin to describe the sheer pain of having a stone. Thus spake my Aussie mate about hers. I am still kind of worried about my dad, but not panicky. He's on oxygen because the stone is putting pressure on his heart and lungs, I'm not sure how. The term "congestive heart [something]" has been tossed around, which is not helping my mood.
His sister might know more about that though -- she works in cardiology. Christmas celebration with his side of the family is Sunday, so I can probably ask her then. Daddy will miss it, of course. Mom thinks his wife won't show alone, which makes sense. Dad's family likes Mom better than his new wife. Mom's thinking about tagging along with us kids and visiting her ex-family or step-in-laws or whatever the hell you call the family of your ex. Ex-in-laws, I guess, but all my cousins still call her "aunt" and my mom is still on the extended family circular letter (so is the new Mrs. Dad). Mrs. Dad (hey, I like that name, actually) can be part of the family without my mom having to not be part of the family anymore, you know? She gave birth to four of my grandmother's grandbabies and that will never change.
Family stuff, feh. This was supposed to be short! Oops.
I am praying with ferocious fervor. People who have roleplayed with me know that my characters, most notably Jaina, have the "mother tigeress" habit. Attack Jaina and she will evenly, almost calmly, defend herself. Attack one of her friends, her adoptive family, and she will go berserk. She will start breaking random unimportant objects to vent her massive frustration. I don't do the breaking, but I have a similar manner. Nobody insults or hurts my friends and gets away with it. Nobody hurts my family without me doing my damnest to intervene.
There's not much I can do to help with kidney stones and heart problems, though. I'm not a surgeon or a urologist. I am spiritual, though, so I do the one thing I can do and I do it with passion. I pray. I tell God that I know His will shall be done, but I tell him what I want. I say "please". I say if my father must be in pain, let it please not cause lasting damage. I say if he must have surgery, let it please go without incident.
Daddy asked us, his offspring, "Is this God's plan?" The room was quiet for a time after that. What does one say to that? "Yes, God's a bastard"? "No, God isn't any part of this"? "Yes, it's your payback for being a bastard yourself -- REPENT, FOUL SINNER!" None of those are helpful responses.
Mom has asked if us kids will want to go up to the city and visit Daddy. I said I wanted to wait and see what happened. The test results aren't back yet, so it's hard to tell how well he'll be doing. They might put him on something to knock him out and let him sleep through the pain, in which case he wouldn't really be able to have visitors. If he's up to it, then yes, I mean to go up and see him, preferably with my brothers. I don't know what to say to him if I go alone. ("I love you always, Daddy.") Well, yes, that. I need to say that. It's so damn hard though! No wonder he barely ever said it to me. The shoe is on the other foot now, eh? Joy.
My thoughts are not breaking into neat paragraphs. Urgh.