Stupid February. It's still February. Which I should actually be thankful for, because with March comes a new rent check to bounce. Shit.
Hey, my friend's SO replied in my guestbook. And what a reply. Dude should get his own diary. Hey, I'd read.
Hehehehe. The Pasht side of my personality is pleased as punch. She's been trying and trying to write stuff in here to get me smacked by someone saying "Hey! Shut up!" and that finally happened. Whee, I'm perversely happy! I feel so loved amid the general dislike.
I always find people's rebuttals against me amusing. I can only explain that by saying that I'm inherently perverse, I think. If they pokes holes in me then I can poke holes in them. Right? ...well, I like to try.
So. There's one reason alone that I am against him and my friend. Oh really? Which one was that? Was it that I think she's pretty young to be economically tied into a life with anyone, regardless of history? Was it that I read too much about birth control being imperfect, and that I might be afraid for her health?
Because I'm thinking that one reason is that I'm Christian. That's a reason TOO. It is not "the" sole magic aspect of this relationship that I have a problem.
Hell, one of my closest friends (besides the young lady dating this man) is a gay man who brings home a new dude every night he feels just a little too horny. Yeah, I tend to think that premarital and extramarital sex is wrong. I also think that swearing is fucking wrong, and that freeloading is wrong (although I've yet to find a smooth transition from it in my own life). People do wrong things. I love people whether they do wrong things or not.
I suppose I am getting irresistably drawn to making a small declaration about myself, but I'm not ready yet, dammit. Grr. Stupid life trying to shape my actions.
I will say that people who are overtly sexual tend to throw me off, as I'm certainly not. Being asked by this guy, the second time I met him, if I'd join him and my best friend in his bed.... oooooookay, you just fried my brain, sir, gimme a moment to recover. Or a year, that'd be even better. Ack! I wasn't aware that people could be so up-front with their sexuality! I mean, yes I know a very sexual gay man pretty well, but he's gay. I'm not used to have sexuality directed at me! Yelp! Where can I hide?
Of course, I was asking for it that particular day, as I was dressed in my infamous little red dress with the idea that maybe I could stray his eye a little from my friend and onto myself, who had no interest in sex. Not without a marriage first -- I want legal recourse if the relationships sours. It ain't much, but it's about all a woman can get to protect her interests in this world. IMHO. You're entitled to your own, y'all.
Interesting. I never knew the reasons for his imprisonment. My friend (whom I'm going to have to keep identifying only as my friend, unless she tells me otherwise, grr) never said. I thought maybe he was dealing drugs or something -- how should I know when nobody says anything? That's it? That's all it was. Geez, girl, don't you know that nothing is more frightening than my imagination when it tries to fill in the gaps? Bleh.
*re-reading the guestbook entry* Oh. He thinks I mean because he's married. Well, yes, that got to me at first, but the relationship there is so obviously already over that it doesn't really bear mentioning anymore. All I care about is that I hope he gets the divorce finalized rapidly so that doesn't trip up him and my friend later. He has a son with his (hopefully) soon to be ex-wife and I really hope he gets to see the kid. Nobody should have to grow up without a father. Hell, my folks were married until I was grown and I never had a father, not really. It blows!
*scans guestbook* Um, in my own defense, I'd like to point out that making a little more than your girlfriend per hour doesn't mean much when you don't get many hours, which is what I meant -- overall money, not per hour. *restrains inner critic on ground of being currently jobless herself, and therefore unable to talk* You already know that and I understand you both are taking measures to improve your employment. Good on you both.
(Isn't it so sweet the way they both stand up to defend each other? These two are... well, I misjudged them, to be sure. And I still think my friend, still not legal to drink even, is too young to be getting herself into a serious relationship. But I think she didn't go looking -- the relationship just sorta found her. There are a few niggly little details I want to talk over with my friend, more for my own curiosity about real live relationships than for any sort of dissuasion. [Holy hell, "dissuasion" is a real word? Cool!])
I have my own little theory on why this bugs me a little even now and I am not liking it even one little bit. That's because I think my theory is right, and I'm loathe to admit it... damn me.
Why do my friends keep making me realize more of my own flaws? *sweatdrops* Between this friend and Sin, I'm going to have start a self-improvment regimen. I know I could use it. I just hate change, and particularly hate change that directly involves me.
I gotta burn those Trigun drama mp3s so I can listen to them on my own computer. And Sex Bomb, because my Peanut made me. Sounds like a song to fuck by... is that on the track list for another custom CD?
(Memo to me: Scream loudly at my friend, once, the next time I see her. "Why does he know where my online diary is?" It's not all that important -- hell, if I was really trying to hide, I wouldn't go by "Ree" on DiaryLand and in my own life -- but I am curious. Besides, it's fun to make her mind blank out and her voice confusedly ask "...whaaaat?" Hee. I'm evil.)
Now I should get properly dressed (PJs at 2pm! Yay!) and truck it back to my house, so Sin can chew me out too. Then I shall feel even more loved. Yeah! But first I must wait for my kid bro to get home from school, so he can kick my arse in James Bond again. Agent Under Fire, for the GameCube. He owns the Cube and he "pwnz" me at that game. Stupid Q-Claw, makin' my gaming life difficult....